I wish I had a time machine to take me back to the simple days when social networks didn’t exist or take over everyone’s time,energy, and mind. I’ve slowly distanced myself from all the social networks…it feels good to not feel the need to look at my phone every five minutes to see what everyone else is doing. Because ultimately, I don’t even care! It was just an unconscious habit to want to be nosey, I guess. Now that I’ve deleted my Facebook and Instagram I see everything for what it’s worth, and I also notice how EVERYONE is on their phone, and I’m just sitting there like “damn, that’s what I looked like too!” It seems like you can’t really get anyone’s full attention anymore. Not physically, at least…maybe if you’re communicating electronically then yes. Haha. So that’s why I want a time machine, to take me back to the times when we all chilled outside on the porch in large groups, your friends would go to your front door and ask if you could come out, letters were written to each other, kids riding their bicycles outside or playing hide-n-seek. Do kids even know what that game is these days?
I pretend to be made out of plastic; I pretend to be hollow inside, sort of like the bootleg barbies that you can buy at a 99 cent store. You know, the ones with the heads and limbs that are easy to remove? It’s easy to live that way, pretending like nothing can hurt you, even if they step on you and all of a sudden your body is flattened—You can just mold it back into place. Sure, it won’t be the same, you will have dents all over, possible carry yourself in a different way than before. But I pretend, nonetheless. I do so because it’s the only way I know how to distract people of my weaknesses, so therefore I pretend like nothing can harm me. Truth is though, I’m actually human, and as much as I pretend not to be and as much as I try to be a bootleg Barbie—I’m not. I’m made out of bones, and veins…blood vessels and cells. I have a brain and a heart that beats. Oh, the irony.